Richard’s Blog-o-Shite

Not a good day today.

Started off OK with the second flight out to Dublin from London City Airport. As I was about to board the plane, I received an e-mail from the Client asking to postpone our meetng by half an hour until 3,00pm. Not too worrying as I wouldn’t hace to leave site until 4.30pm anyway.

By the time I’d landed, they’d e-mailed to cancel the meeting but my big boss had said I’d go along anyway as I was on a plane!

As it turned out the meeting – further dwlayed by another half hour – went OK and I headed back to Dublin airport, grabbing an expensive sandwich and Guinness when I got there.

Boarded my Air France flight back to London City Airport and off we went: flight due in at around 8.10pm.

As we began to descend into London, the Captain told us it was stormy over London and lo and behold the flight was a bit rock and roll but we gained height again and were told we were stacking due to standing water on the runway.

After a while, we were then told that due to our low fuel and the fact that City was still closed, we’d now be diverting to London Stansted. Ah…

Finally on the ground, we then waited in the Arrivals Terminal for news and were told we would be getting a coach back down to London.

And so it was that at around 10.00pm we boarded the coach. It’s going to be a long night…

Thank you very much indeed, Norfolk Constabulary. Thank you for costing my company a day’s lost fees. Thank you for wasting £60 of my money for the hotel room I’m in now. Thank you for doing absolutely sod-all to help the hundreds of motorists your incompetence incovenienced.

What am I talking about?

Today I had a dental appointment in Wymondham at 11.15am, so I left London in plenty of time. By 10.50am, I was 20 minutes away (maximum) on the dual carriageway section of the A11 Thetford By-Pass between the Brandon and Watton interchanges when I had to come to a halt. Why? Some dickhead driving a tractor and towing a trailer of vegetables had managed to turn the whole thing over and blocked the southbound carriageway. Remember, I was heading northbound.

Like a well-oiled team of professionals, the police’s traffic division and the Transport Agency’s Incident Support Unit had mobilised to get things sorted out.

Between then and 11.45am, I sat in stationary traffic and watched as most of the police vehicles drove off having done … er … nothing at all. One police motorcycle went down the southbound carriageway, around the roundabout and then back up the southbound carriageway the wrong way for no good reason at all. Maybe he was getting a bit warm in the summer sun and just fancied going for a spin to cool himself down. Bless!

Traffic announcements confirmed that the southbound carriageway was blocked and that there were long southbound queues. Apparently the traffic going north was slow as people were slowing down to take a look, according to the AA team.

Obviously that was as far removed from reality as the Labour Party are from unity. As I discovered when I did eventually get past the next roundabout, the southbound lane was actually flowing pretty well. And no-one was rubbernecking in my lane – we simply couldn’t get past the roundabout because of the southbound traffic effectively turning it into a lane of southbound traffic.

In the olden days, a policeman or policemen would stand there directing traffic like human traffic lights to ensure that traffic flowed as freely as possible every way, but instead this bunch of lazy idiots just wanted to sit around with their thumbs up their arses doing absolutely sod-all.

And as a result, all the northbound traffic had been at a standstill for almost an hour.

So I missed my appointment thanks to their complete lack of any positive action. Well done you! It’s really no surprise I have absolutely zero respect for them. They always set low standards and consistently fail to achieve them in my mind.

I won’t even start to go on about how South Blunderside Humberside Police have failed to take any real action against a harassing, violent and abusive drunkard (with overtones of child abuse)…

And thanks to the AA’s radio traffic reporters for rubbing it in by reporting absolute crap and insulting those of us who were stuck in the jams the police had caused.

Dear BBC News,

Is there any particular reason why you have seen fit to inflict so much coverage of your reality TV show “The Apprentice” on your BBC News viewers?

I am not sure that anything that a bunch of wannabe yuppies do whilst fawning over some businessman in a glorified job interview is that newsworthy. Or is the BBC planning to devote similar hours of news coverage to other executive recruitment from here on in? Or maybe BBC Breakfast News will begin covering Channel 4’s “Big Brother” and interview evicted housemates the following day as well, in the name of balance.

No, I don’t think so either…

Yours sincerely,

A Pissed-Off Viewer

I wonder if there is any particular reason why the manufacturers of football and rugby replica kits decided not to make them from cotton or a similar absorbent material?

Maybe they just want their customers to stink of BO after a wee while…

Hmm. Well that’s interesting. I’ve just received a junk e-mail to an e-mail address set up specifically for use on the William Hill website some months back.

So does that mean someone’s hacked their customer database or is it just a bizarre coincidence that someone has managed to combine their site name with one of my domain names? Hmm…

According to the BBC News website, the Metropolitan Police says it has spent almost £8M monitoring the Tamil protest at Parliament Square – this was up to 19 May 2009. According to the TV news tonight, the cost is now £9M and this is being used as the basis for reviewing allowing peaceful protests.

ORLY?

So it cost £8M for 43 days. Or £186,000 a day. For what?

Looking more closely at the report, they claim that:

“About half of the total spent policing the demonstration – £3.72 million – was from additional policing costs, including overtime, the Met said.”

So that’s  £86,500 a day on overtime. Nice litttle earner, eh? I mean, how many policemen are on duty there every day? 100? 200? That’s a lot of overtime or a disproportionate number of policemen.

And that leaves a balance of £100,000 a day for … er … um … doughnuts? Bacon rolls? Who knows? The policemen are already employed, the vans are already bought and will just be parked up there most of the day. So what – precisely – is this claimed additional expenditure on? Mind you, when they closed off Weston Street after a stabbing for a day or two, one of the few police vehicles on the scene was a Met. Police burger van. I kid you not!

Sounds like bollocks to me…

I took the opportunity of a warm and sunny day here in London to wash and polish Wilf with car shampoo, wax and a high gloss protector coat for the tank.

Then I fitted some R&G fork protectors before taking the camera out to take a few photos:

Wilf in London

One of the adverts over on the right of this site from time to time is for H&R Insurance, peddling their bike insurance online using Google Ads.

In order to get a quote, you have to agree, amongst other things, that:

“5. The motorbike has not been modified in any way.

6. There are no accessories fitted to the bike.”

That must mean they insure very few bikes…

MPs need to represent their constituencies. They should therefore live in the areas they represent. To be an MP, they then need to be in the Commons and because of all the chit-chat they tend to work extended hours (when they’re actually there…), so I accept that MPs should also live in London when they need to be in the House.

Now all the hoo-hah has been about what they claim for in terms of mortgage interest, repairs, etc. There is a recession on and that’s affecting the construction industry and also the amount of office space going begging. So bearing in mind the 646 need to be going to the same place from time to time, why not simply build or convert a block into 646 flats plus security near to the Houses of Parliament and give each MP a room whilst they’re MPs. Think Premier Inn stylee. That way the daily travel exes come down. No worries about pisstaking. Security is less of an issue as they’re all within a security cordon. When the MP stands down or is replaced, he gives up the room and his replacement moves in.

In the meantime, he gets a comfortable room with decent bed, TV to keep up to date, desk and power to catch up out of hours, cleaners can come in daily as and when, etc. And the public gets to keep a tight rein on expenses. No frills and not too much like a room in a monastery either. You could also add a ground floor with office space for meeting rooms they could book.

What’s the problem?

Another gesture that Roger made when he sold me Wilf as the alarm was fecked was that he’d send me the rear hugger and throw in a carbon end can. These arrived at the office yesterday and I brought them home today, along with the replacement Meta alarm I’d bought.

Turns out it’s a Micron carbon can which looks like it’ll be fairly loud, but also is smaller and much lighter than the OEM can. I fitted it in minutes and fired up Wilf to be greeted with a much deeper exhaust note which wasn’t that much louder after all. We’ll see what it’s like on the road in due course.

Second accessory was a satnav mount that fits into the stem, the “Telferizer”. Using this, the TomTom Rider v2 can be fitted either up in front of the instruments or - better still - just above the tank indent. Now all I need to do is sort out the power lead to the battery and I’m good to go without worrying about the batteries running out. A really nice bit of kit and recommended.