Is there any particular reason why you have seen fit to inflict so much coverage of your reality TV show “The Apprentice” on your BBC News viewers?

I am not sure that anything that a bunch of wannabe yuppies do whilst fawning over some businessman in a glorified job interview is that newsworthy. Or is the BBC planning to devote similar hours of news coverage to other executive recruitment from here on in? Or maybe BBC Breakfast News will begin covering Channel 4’s “Big Brother” and interview evicted housemates the following day as well, in the name of balance.

No, I don’t think so either…

Yours sincerely,

A Pissed-Off Viewer

All sorts of people with their own agendas such as Labour MPs (especially Scottish ones…) and disability activists are hopping onto this latest bandwagon to denounce him and demand that the BBC acts to punish him.

Why?

El Gordo is indeed one-eyed. Fact.

He is Scottish. Fact.

He is an idiot. Opinion.

And?

For what it’s worth, I think Jeremy Clarkson is a twat. That’s my opinion. But frankly the bigger twats are these complete and utter wankers who want political correctness to ruin our society. Fuck the lot of them!

Whilst Britons from the North of the country have not – as far as I am aware – complained about an Enfield and Whitehouse sketch featuring a family keeping a Northerner as a pet, the Filipinos are up in arms about a Filipina maid “inciting stereotyped racial discrimination, vulgarity and violation of the maid’s human rights”.  And yet they don’t seem to want to stick up for the poor, enslaved Northern bloke, do they?

Bingo from the Banana Splits

Kathreya from Big Brother

Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the Banana Splits‘ Bingo and Kathreya from Big Brother? I wonder if they are by any chance related?

In the end, it was good looking but thick sounding salesman Lee McQueen who won this series of The Apprentice. He will now get a job with AMSTRAD in charge of a product selling advertising. Well what a suprise. AMSTRAD are of course famous for … erm … a crappy word-processor thing in the eighties and some sort of hideous phone thing now. Oh and they’re owned by BSkyB now, I think.

Still, at least it means no more people going on and on about the show like it’s some sort of national event. Maybe Chris Moyles will actually play some music on his radio show now? Probably not… (And as if by magic when I went to grab the hyperlink to Chris Moyles’s show, what else was there but a photo of Sir Alan and one of the team. See?)

Anyway, here’s my top tip for next year’s show: don’t bother entering unless you’re a “yes man” salesman with a shiny suit, shiny buckles on your shiny shoes and lots of hair product plastered on your head because that’s all they’re really after. Oh and remember to be obnoxious.

First up was “Transporter 2“, the sequel to a film I’d really quite enjoyed which stars one of those blokes who improves with age and hairloss, somewhat like Bruce Willis has, Jason Statham.

 
Someone once said I reminded them of Jason Statham – bless her! – but then I’ve also been likened to Chuck Norris! Must be the “designer stuble” or something?

The film itself was a disappointment as they usually are when the US studios take over and write films for that market. Lots of wirework, farcical CGI ’stunts’, etc. Ah well.

I then watched “Teenage Kicks“  starring and written by Ade Edmondson which could have been dire. I hoped the post-watershed timing might have meant the humour would have been less lame than I feared … and I wasn’t disappointed. The only awkwardness came – as hoped – by some of the jokes hitting too close to home for comfort. It has promise…

On the BBC’s breakfast news show this morning, they even had voxpops from people saying how they received so many junk e-mails. I bet.

I love this bit too from the BBC News article:

“If I’m out for the day I will receive around 80 e-mails.
Bigjeeze, Bournemouth, UK”

They should be so lucky! My stats for last year showed I received on average 875 definite spam messages every day out of an average 975 e-mails each and every day of the year!

We’ll ignore the satellite offering because there’s no way I’m paying Murdoch a load of money to watch his overpriced shite and stick some sort of chav accessory on the side of my house, thankyouverymuch.

So instead of live coverage of one race and highlights of the other, I’m reduced to watching an hour’s programme (with probably four ad. breaks as seems to be Channel 4’s wont these days) and no doubt it’ll be at stupid o’clock at night. Unless, that is, Channel 4 has learned from its frankly pathetic attempts at televising World Superbikes a couple of years ago which frankly killed it stone dead and drove despairing bikers towards Sky, whilst concentrating on ‘quality’ output like “Big Brother”, innit?

Meanwhile, the first two rounds of World Superbikes – four races – have been and gone unnoticed by me as there’s no terrestrial or Freeview coverage I’ve noticed.

Fortunately, the BBC are consolidating their broadcasting successes recently by showing MotoGP so that’s what I’ll be concentrating on watching again this year.

I love the telly adverts. Anything like Mothers’ Day or Valentine’s Day brings out adverts for the crappiest albums imaginable … “the perfect gift for Mother’s Day”.

Bless ‘em!

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