Call for law change on quad bikes

“Doctors say the law should be changed to force people who use road-legal quad bikes to wear helmets.

Accident and emergency medics say lives are put at risk because riders do not have to wear protective gear – despite the fact the bikes can reach 90mph.”

Oh my word! Think of the children! Something must be done!

And yet…

“There are no separate statistics on the numbers of quad bike crashes, but two particularly high-profile accidents have made headlines and brought the dangers to wider public attention.

In 1998, comedian Rik Mayall suffered serious head injuries and spent five days in a coma after his quad bike overturned while he was riding it at his farm in Devon.

In 2003, rock musician Ozzy Osbourne spent eight days in a coma, broke eight ribs and punctured a lung while riding a quad bike in the grounds of his Buckinghamshire mansion. He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.”

So there’s nothing to support such a cry for us to be protected from ourselves. And clearly the high profile accidents took place off road. Not sure what a crash helmet would have done to save Ozzy’s broken ribs and punctured lung, but hey, let’s not let facts get in the way of a hysterical piece of so-called journalism.

Maybe they just want their customers to stink of BO after a wee while…

In order to get a quote, you have to agree, amongst other things, that:

“5. The motorbike has not been modified in any way.

6. There are no accessories fitted to the bike.”

That must mean they insure very few bikes…

I’ve signed up to do this: the Royal British Legion is holding an event under the Iron Butt Association SaddleSore 1000 rules. There are several aims, first to raise money for Royal British Legion. The second is to try and take the record from the Americans. And the third is obviously the personal challenge of trying to ride 1000 miles in 24 hours (plus a 400 mile round trip to and from the starting point!).

The event starts on Friday 19th June at 12:00 with riders briefing, with riders departing between 08:00 and 09:00 on Saturday 20th June, completing the ride by 09:00 on Sunday 21st June.

I have sent off my entry form along with a cheque for £30 but I will also need to raise at least £50 of sponsorship.

As for the ride there are four routes, two north, and two south. I am taking the Route B North Anti Clockwise.

The RBLR website and route details is here.

The easiest way for me to collect sponsorship is the just giving website at http://www.justgiving.com/richardhmorris – they can claim the gift aid on your behalf.

Please sponsor me!

Anyway, for your pleasure:

Once upon a time, there were four rabbits, Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter. They lived with their mother, Old Mrs. Rabbit, in a warren which looked – to the unaccustomed eye – rather like the lice infested trenches of World War I.

One day Peter’s mother said “I am going to market to sell my mittens. You may play in the woods if you wish but, Peter, you and your naughty cousin Benjamin Bunny are not to antagonize Mr. McGregor nor blow up any Panzer tanks today”, and with that, she left in a swish-swash-swish of rustling skirts.

But oh! That Peter was a naughty rabbit! No sooner had his mother left than he had dressed for combat and hopped down to the end of the lane to rendezvous with his cousin Benjamin. As the two young rabbits exchanged their fulsome greetings, they suddenly became aware of a mighty a-clinking and a-clanking coming up the road! Their little hearts a-flutter, they peered judiciously around the corner.

Why it was Mr. McGregor in a MkII Tiger tank with a transversable 88mm howitzer and two forward mounted 7.62mm machine guns!

“Be quick and fetch the Panzerfaust anti-tank gun from Tom Kitten!” whispered Benjamin. So Peter went lipperty-lipperty all the way to Tom Kitten’s house.

“Quick!” Peter implored him. “Lend me your Panzerfaust, for Mr. McGregor has a Tiger tank and will surely blast us all into bloody shards of flesh, bone and sinewy pulp if we are not careful, if we are not most circumspect!”

Tom Kitten gave Peter his anti-tank gun willingly for Mr. McGregor had scolded him once. But by the time Peter had returned to his cousin, Mr. McGregor had driven up the road and opened fire on Jemima Puddleduck, killing her instantly.

“Thank goodness you were not the least tardy!” cried Benjamin, as the turret of Mr. McGregor’s tank slowly turned towards the humble abode of Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle.

“Waste the fucker!”

Benjamin called out with the sensation of enjoyment. So Peter steadied the Bazooka on his shoulder and squinted one beady little rabbit eye down the sights.

Now, rabbits eat lots of carrots and every child knows that carrots do your eyesight a power of good, so of course Peter did not miss.

Whooomph! Ka-Woooommmbbbb! The AP shell from the Panzerfaust slammed square into the cowling of the Tiger’s twin back Mayback HL 700hp engines, sending fuel cascading everywhere!

“Take that for putting my father in a pie, you four-eyed Scottish bastard!” exalted Peter and gave a little rabbity hop for joy.

But oh dear! Mr. McGregor was trapped in the hatch of his burning Panzer tank and he was a-hollering and a-screaming fit to burst!

“Kill me, please!” he requested of the rabbits. “For I am trapped and sorely afraid that I shall slowly burn to death from the legs upwards!”

Benjamin Bunny raised his Scmeisser and pumped a full magazine into the distressed Mr. McGregor’s head, thereby solving the pretty little pickle they had found themselves in!

All of a sudden, another hatch opened who should fly out but Mr. McGregor’s cat! Now Benjamin’s father had no opinion whatsoever of cats, but Benjamin was shit-scared of them and would have most surely voided himself in his attire had not the cat been one huge ball of flame and surely demising.

When Mr. McGregor’s cat rattled and lay still, the two little rabbits exchanged salutes and promised to meet again next Thursday and then hurried back to their respective domiciles.

Oh dear! Old Mrs. Rabbit was distraught in the extreme when she learned what her naughty son had been about.

“How many times have I told you about blowing up tanks!” she chided. “You are a naughty, wicked rabbit!”

Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail who had not assaulted any armored vehicles were rewarded with fresh lettuce and carrots and radishes, but Peter was sent to bed without any supper.

But then, who wants to eat that rabbit food shit anyway?

The End

It appears that this was first published in “The Book of Revelations” by Mark Leigh and Mike Lepine.

All sorts of people with their own agendas such as Labour MPs (especially Scottish ones…) and disability activists are hopping onto this latest bandwagon to denounce him and demand that the BBC acts to punish him.

Why?

El Gordo is indeed one-eyed. Fact.

He is Scottish. Fact.

He is an idiot. Opinion.

And?

For what it’s worth, I think Jeremy Clarkson is a twat. That’s my opinion. But frankly the bigger twats are these complete and utter wankers who want political correctness to ruin our society. Fuck the lot of them!

Despite being stopped from delivering an Unlawful Killing verdict, the jury in the Jean Charles de Menezes inquest chose not to believe the evidence from the police – none of whom are being charged with anything, by the way – that they had shouted warnings before shooting an innocent man, choosing instead to believe the evidence of all the other passengers who heard and saw the whole things and were unanimous in saying that no such warning was given by anyone. So an Open Verdict was the ‘best’ they were allowed to reach.

That they may have lied about it to protect themselves when taken with the appallingly incompetent way in which the whole thing was mishandled is a pretty big indictment on how the police see themselves as being well above the laws they are supposed to enforce.

Of course, it always looks bad when people like Police minister Vernon Coaker has to apologise for telling Parliament that 70 officers were injured dealing with protests at Kingsnorth power station. Why?

“According to information obtained by the Liberal Democrats, Kent Police officers and staff suffered only 12 reportable injuries, four of which involved direct contact with another person.

“The Lib Dems said the eight other injuries included being “stung on finger by possible wasp”, “officer injured sitting in car” and “officer succumbed to sun and heat”.

“Kent Police confirmed that 12 officers were required to retire from duty because of their injuries.”

But of course the reports of all those “injuries” was used to justify the heavy-handed policing and stop and search tactics employed by the police.

On which subject, I should add that I saw on the local BBC News that plans were in place for people to be stopped and searched for drugs and knives when boarding Thames dinner cruise boats this Christmas: we’ll see, because one of the places they mentioned such searches would be taking place is where I’ll be going this week.

I suppose it makes a change for them to stop and search a white, middle-aged professional. A few weeks back, I was travelling through Leytonstone tube station where a large police presence were carrying out a stop and search on black males whilst I walked straight through. Maybe a white, middle-aged professional type in a suit and carrying a laptop case isn’t likely to be committing a crime?

Or perhaps they do. But on a much, much larger scale…

Now bearing in mind we as taxpayers have pumped billions of pounds into the banking sector after they proved they were all so incompetent to have got themselves into this mess, how do you think they have reacted? Have they passed it on to us to say ‘thank you’ and to help us out of the situation they have put us in?

No. They blame the LIBOR and claim that that is stopping them from passing on the base rate cut. Erm… Sorry, who sets the interbank offered rate? That would be … the banks…

“I regularly have people coming up to me and saying they don’t want to wait that long.”

ORLY?

Who? Sheeple? People working for the companies that would operate the system at huge public expense?

Name names or shut up about these ludicrous claims!